Update

So, it's been a while...........at the moment, I'm in a nowhere place..........but I have new scratches..........I just canno fight this stupid urge to constantly scar my arm......wtf is wrong with me????????????      Also, today, I feel so CBA and energy less........

It's so hard on Paula, I know I'm bringing her down and snapping and I feel she'd be better off without me.......I have 2 weeks left till I have to resume work and I'm scared to death of going on my own on the bus for 2 hours..........I just know I'll get off and wander around. Sometimes I feel like poor old Zak Dingle on Emmerdale, they're doing that well btw..........

Typing is hard, I have so much to say but sometimes can't be bothered........it's like I just want to sleep (not sleep) eat/drink but 'not'.......or just watch stuff so I don't have to do anything..........I hate how I feel............I hate myself............I hate my life......................