Mixed up weekend feelings...........

Firstly, we had Paula's Grandchildren stay over Friday night which was fabulous. Today, Saturday I got sad and cried - perhaps I should explain.

Tomorrow is Father's day and I got upset because my Son Marcus doesn't speak to me (long story) and I'm excited at seeing my daughter Heather tomorrow, even though we don't always see much or get on. She is busy studying journalism at Southampton University and I'm beyond proud of her.

We're meeting up in Brighton, so it's great she's coming over - owing to my depression etc. I can't face going over there.

When you have kids and divorce, you lose out on so much and ending a sad relationship is NEVER a decision to be taken lightly.

So on days like Father's day, I get sad and cry. There are things that can prompt this.......for example, JCB Song by Nizlopi - go and watch on You Tube and you'll hopefully understand.

Having Paula's Grandchildren round is good but I know that I'll never that 'happy fun atmosphere etc' with my own Grandchildren, should either Heather or Marcus decide to have kids. I doubt I'd be allowed to have them over. So I envy Paula what she has and that she CAN share them with me. They call me Robi, not GranDad or Grampa because I'm NOT and don't wish to be. What we have is perfect and I don't want that to change...............I also care for her girls, Grace and Rosie but I'm 'Robi' to them too and always will be............

Paula's working tonight - doing what we call a 'Twiglet' shift - actually a Twilight, 7pm to 1am the following morning. So I'm using the time to prattle on.

I'm also listening to the new Amy Macdonald album...........Life in a beautiful light...............go and listen.............

So, busy times ahead, got urology follow up Monday and a counselling appt in the afternoon and back to work Tuesday...........

I am sort of happy at work, but I am bored and cannot believe that they're not interested in embracing social media. FFS every company has a facebook and twitter page...............their loss, which is why I never mention them............

Roll on payday...............