Diary of Baskerville and other depression related 'stuff'.

I know you’re there, I can see your shadow.

Padding, panting and salivating in eager anticipation of a hearty meal. Not today Baskerville!

The scars on my arm are still there from when you last sank those horrific teeth into them.

The inner scars are also mending and I will fight you, my nemesis my not so friendly ‘Best Friend of Man’.

One might argue it’s the tablets, prescription and over the counter (pain killers) that are causing me to hallucinate.

But I say it’s you! Black Dog, stealer of lives and souls. Is Satan your Master I wonder?

Baskerville takes two forms. That of a normal snarling Black Dog, the predator, the ‘scout’, the searcher of an

Opportunity to strike. The second, is more akin to an Alien (with teeth like H R Gieger’s nightmarish creation).

The teeth are the last thing you see and feel as the darkness envelopes you. Oddly, there is no pain, only a strange relief

as the blood runs down one’s arm. The pain comes from the embarrassment that you allowed yourself to be caught.

Therein lies the worst of the feelings. Knowing you’ve been caught, the inquisition from family and friends and the inevitable

question – WHY?

Pretty dumb and insensitive actually – one cannot answer ‘why’ as one doesn’t know ‘WHY’……….if we knew ‘WHY’ we could

try and do something about it!

To be fair to the aforementioned family and friends, it’s not easy for them to understand BUT, they need to at least appreciate the

terrible pain that the ‘sufferer’ is going through.

I try to explain that I’m endeavouring to make sense of the present by studying the past and they seem to think I’m ‘having a dig’ at them.

This is blatantly untrue and I have said this.

Most of my ‘issues’ stem from childhood, particularly school.

More to follow…………..