Belated news............blog 270812

Misery and depression and the desire to die..................................life is so meaningless don't you find.

When Baskerville finds me I just want to let it quickly devour me, to get it over and done with, as painlessly as possible.

Somehow, I evade the fucking bastard..............who I've discovered is actually the Death Hound of Satan himself............the foul Red God who has another purpose for me...........I evade you too............for now................

So, I have been rowing lots with Paula, it's not fair on her............sometimes I think I should leave her to spare her more pain. How sorrowful that one's 'love', spouse and partner should suffer, as do family and friends.............I just want to run away to somewhere where no one will find me...........to spare everyone the tormented demon that's struggling to get out of me.........frightening.

Even the new 'wonderful' Quetiapine isn't helping to be honest............maybe I'm cursed to just be ME................